I sit today in the cutest little coffee/tea shop and gallery on my new little island. I am surrounded by eccentric artists talking and laughing about musical jokes that I just don’t get… I feel out of place amongst these folk who all know each other, but i sit quietly at a table and write. I see a cutie dog out the window and I feel the anxiety in me settle. I have carefully placed myself by the window so that I can try to ignore the goings on within the cafe and be connected to nature outside the window. If it was warm, I would write outside always. let’s be honest, I would probably sleep outside if my husband wouldn’t file a missing persons report. I have been thinking a lot about this anxiety, this constant buzzing that runs within us and once acknowledged and followed to he base of it seems connected deeply to this constant buzzing in the world… these messages that hit us since childhood…do more, be more, make yourself into something worthwhile, stand out, make an impact, be more, not good enough, and on and on.
I watched a documentary on Peru last night. Peru is fascinating and ancient and so sacred…. The man in the show was talking about the Amazon rainforest and some of the amazing creatures within. They showed an image of the poisonous tree frog, this little orange beast who is the most deadly creature alive apparently. This thought came to me…this little guy isn’t fighting against himself to be something ‘good’ or something more loving and caring and less dangerous. In no way is he doing this. He is just being the poisonous tree frog that he is. He is rocking his poisonous tree frog-ness. He is doing exactly what he was created to do. He feels it deep within him that this is his way, his work if you will. Why is this so difficult for us humans to do? I guess this is the big cosmic joke. We were given these brains and free will and all of the many difficulties that come with these two agreements. And now he we are struggling to find ‘our purpose’, asking the existential questions of ‘why am I here?’ And feeling lost in the process.
This is one of the greatest reasons I work with horses. They are huge, powerful, in-your-face beasts and they are just doing their horsey thing. They are not looking for any approval from anyone. In fact, they don’t give two shits what we as humans think of them and how they conduct themselves. They are not looking for our approval, but they will understand clear direction and communication. They, as horses, are just doing what they, as horses, are put here to do. Watching and working with horses teaches us a lot… A LOT..if we pay attention. If we can unravel ourselves from our own egocentric stories enough to see what is happening while we are with them, we will be forever changed.
Why do we, as humans, have such a difficult time knowing who we are and Being that? Because we have learned in our western society how to be anything but who we are. We are often taught as children that who we are is not enough. We are often taught that we are ‘too loud’ or ‘too busy’ or ‘too dramatic’ or ‘too emotional’ and that we ‘should’ be more this or more that. These teachings leave us feeling like everything that we naturally are as children and teenagers, is not ‘right’. We have become externally focused. We have become so concerned about what others think and disconnected with what we FEEL.
If we can just feel our way forward, we can remember Who We Are and what we are here to do. ‘Feeling’ first and ‘doing’ second. This is the way. This is how the animals live. This is how the children live. Watch these two…. The animals and the children and you will learn much. They feel what it’s time to do and then they do. They feel, then act. If the doing is getting a negative reaction or is resulting in pain, then they will stop doing that and they will learn that this is not something they will choose to do in the future…which then has all kinds of different consequences. We as humans, though, have been gifted the treasure of Courage, from the Latin word ‘cor’ or ‘heart’. We, luckily, can live beyond Pavlov’s conditioning and make inspired choices to go beyond. Shining as who we really are takes the greatest courage. We must work with groundedness, vulnerability, integrity, flow, compassion and connectedness, among many other attributes. These are the attributes of the Soul. These are the flavours of the chakras.
THis is my work. I saw it written in a quote yesterday as I read The Sacred Year beautifully written by Michael Yankoski. Michael quotes Ezekiel from the bible when he talks about the “God who will remove the heart of stone and give a heart of flesh”. I am not God. I am not the Divine. I have, however, been created by this energy and am of this energy. I am of the Divine. My work alongside the horses, is to help people feel again, to help them remove the blocks in their energetic systems that have ‘protected’ them throughout their time here on the planet. My work is to help people soften, to learn to listen to that heart of flesh and start living from that place as they would have as a child. I see the work of the horses to be the catalyst to move people to transform themselves. They help people to renew their connection to their Soul.